Double valentine's day

2014 chinese new year is officially come to an end, a good end, this year is very special, the last day of chinese new year is also known as 元宵节 chinese which is eastern valentine's day, and it fall on the same day as the western valentine's day,  a double shot, which is a good news for the men because save money for the celebration, hahahaha, just saying...

My friend Lay Boon choose that day which is yesterday according to the date and time now to engage with his girlfriend, it a official registeration to the malaysia government and the marriage is protected under law of Malaysia and they will become legal husband and wife, i was there with them but actually i am more enjoying to stay with the tall her, i ask her to go together with me to witness their engagement too, and she did follow me go, quite surprise that she willing to go with me to participate this event, i didn't think too much although i wanted to, hehe...

It's a good scene there, watching them have been together for like 7 or 8 years, they are one of the longest timed couple among my friends, then later at the night, i recieve one message from another friend inviting me go to his elder brother's wedding dinner at march, that surprised me, i never see that coming, the biggest chance are, that girl is pregnanted and they are forced to get married, that's my best guess because according to my calculation about the factors like their relationship foundation, local culture, friends influnce, personality, family background, their history, their mindset about love, their thinking about the future, daily routine, natural and human disasters, crisis, how they treat people, how they speak, their movement, job, strangers, house location, hobby, topic they usually talk about, food they eat, health condition, place they traveled, internet speed, sleeping time, well, these are the factors i take and put it together to see the big picture for the prediction, that guess will be the only reason, i will see whether my prediction is right or not when i meet his younger bro and ask him, hehe...

Well, honestly, i fancy the tall her but i have my concern, every time when i want to approach her, i have some fear inside me that draw me backward, i like to be with ber, she is the second girl so far i meet can make my mind go offline and get into a relax mode, actually she is the first one to able to do that on me, the second one is my ex, because i feel this for the first time when i meet her at secondary school, my ex is afterward and the rest is history, i want to have a new chapter of my life with her but she seems have some of her concern too, ya i know i am short which i try very hard to substitute that with wisdom and knowledge plus public relationship to let her feel safe mentally with me if it works, in other words, make myself clever, lol...

Anyway, she have some dumb side i have to deal with if we are together, i can easily tolerate that well i think since my ex trained me well, haiz, i have some opinion about girls, for me, girls are all dumb, but somehow they are bery good in control the boys, hahahahaha, no offence although it is, lol...

Haiz, whatever la, time to sleep, i must say, it's the best valentine's day i had so far, be with the tall her, no need to worry about whether she will get mad or whatever bad stuff happen on me, even still single and we are not couple, but it's the best i ever had so far, i yc with her whole noon and we are happy about the conversation we had, fetch her back to her house, bring her go buy some fish that can't be eat before fetch her back, a very enjoyable day which i wanted to have that truly relaxing feel long time ago which i never had before, i will cherish this memory well and keep it in one of my best moments in my life forever, i wish i will have a better one with her, i believe i will have it in future like 2 months time maybe, hahahaha, bad habbit happen again, lol...

What a night

Been a quite terrible night i have tonight, suddenly some of my hormons get wrong and access my old memory and i saw her again and in that dream, we are back together, again, haiz, now i mess up my own mind and heart, can't really fall asleep again, after so long, i still can feel her, shouldn't happen but it happened...

Luckily they primary school classmate gathering she didn't appear, somehow i already took her off of my equation of society movement and flow, so i miscalculate that, really lucky for that, i really afraid to see her again face to face, don't want to mess up my heart again, maybe i love her too deep and still do and i am choosing to run away from her instead of facing her, i made a choice, to let her go, to support her who she want to be with, don't want to see her suffer anymore with me, i can give her nothing...

In movie, love story is written by one person, in real life, it's by 2 people and the script must be protected careful for not letting other people write something on it, if only one side writing without tolerance, the other one will quit someday, but many people don't know, while they are writing their script of their love story, they are writing their script of their own life as well, many relationship fail because they mess up these 2 scripts, because in the love story, it's chapter one for both of them but it's not the first chapter on their script of their life, the script of their life already written for a long time and history is there, it evolve when new chapter begins, if someone write their love story with the pass experience they have, which mean writing love story script on life script instead of start a new book, surely will mess up and eventually fail...

Why it's different? Because life script is only about ownself but love story is about 2 people, to let the love story last long, tolerance and trust is the most important ingredients, if you lost that 2, i can personally asure you, you will fail soon enough, sometimes relationship is science too, constantly doing experiment to know each other well, record down those good and bad result so in future you know which one you can repeat which one not...

Love is just a chemistry reaction going on in our body and put emotional ahead of logical, that's why people do crazy stuff for love, included me, i think my DNA is coded to love one person only in my entire life and stay at there no matter how, it's a good thing if still together because i am a very loyal guy but guess i have to move on instead of keep imaginating something that will never happen because i have calculate the probability, the answer is zero chance...

I guess she now live happily without me, i am a terrible boyfriend, i still believe i made the right choice that day althought that choice is never my choice, wish that boy take good care of her which i never do it well at all...