weird dream again

yesterday wesak day, didn't go 万佛殿 there this year, but i got go there for a while just to have a look at the building at midnight after yc with friends and before going back home, last year i remember i got go there at morning, with PS...

last 2 days i got a weird dream, i dream back i'm still in National Service (PLKN), wah, but my camp is so luxury, sleeping place is in hotel like that, everyone got a big single bed, just like those in hotel one, i share my room with another person, so cool, got air conditional also, wah, so relax, then after enjoy sleeping on the soft bed a while, then i was called to gather to have water activities training, then i just walk to back of my room there, it's a huge nice garden, got a big river also, then we all people have fun at the river there, somehow what attract me the most in the dream is a girl, that girl look so alike with the one i used to be with but she is much much more taller, even taller than me a bit i think, lol... after the activities, i go have a nap on the bed, when i wake up for dinner, i saw she lie beside me and look at me, i didn't feel shock and roll down the bed but feel so calm and touched when i look at her eyes, this feel is so familiar but have lost for a really long time, somehow that moment is so real for me, deep inside my heart i know it's dream but i feel so real, i feel like she is my gf but i'm like a guy who lost memory and not sure about it, then i just continue looking at her beautiful eyes, i didn't say a word, i just smile to her, then she speak and we chat,

"tired ma...?"
"ok lo..."

then we silent for a while, looking each others, then she speak again,

"i know you having a hard time but i willing to wait for you..."

i'm stunned, then she continue,

"you don't have to give me answer that fast, take all the time you need, i will always be with you..."

that moment i don't really care whether i lost memory or what, i really want to hug her and reply her say yes and be with her but somehow something in my heart drag me behind, i don't know why like this, i can feel she also want to hug me but she didn't, then she just call me to go dinner together and i go with her, at the next day, i was call again but the situation is quite serious like that, more like emergency, when i walk to the back to answer the call, i saw a big stupid wooden boat park at the dock there, then i was told to get in that boat and sail to kuantan dock alone, wah, i'm so shock and scare about it, never do it before but quite excited about it because and drive a boat alone at the sea, anyway, at the end got few people get up and i didn't drive the boat also, fainted, that boat really look so stupid, like those old fishing boat, 2 storey high one, but when they testing their engine for check-up, wow, it's like got a 10000 horse power engine inside it, the sound is just awesome, then i just jump up the boat and ready to voyage with them, many friends come to say goodbye to me, somehow i want to see her before i go but she didn't show up, somehow my mind tell me she purposely don't want to come because she don't want to see her love one to go away but rather to cheat herself i'm still inside the camp, my feeling turned from excited and happy to sadness, really make me remember a phrase, appreciate while they still with you, haiz... then the boat just drive away from the dock and head to kuantan, here comes the strange part, when arrive the dock, that boat actually pops out wheel and continue moving on the ground, it's a amphibia! cool, and it move just like a 10 seconds car, very fast, i ask the driver where we heading, he said Pekan which back to my camp again, then i just say what the hell, like this also fun, lol... then end of dream, what a non sense trip =.=

after that dream, i still miss that girl, i think i miss my ex actually, i always having dream about her even we have seperated, yesterday also dream about her, she giving me a call to me and we talk a lot, haiz... i know she is working hard to be back with me but i'm just like that dream, something is holding me back and i can't accept her anymore, that night when we meet again when she back to kuantan for holidays for 3 weeks, we have a talk about our reunion, after talking for some time, i know we won't be together back happily one but i made a choice, i choose to believe in her again, she really work hard in that 3 weeks to get back to me and same as me but i think it just can't work, at the end, i made a choice, i choose to leave, there are too many things i really mind and can't forget and can't stop thinking it, haiz...

last 2 days i go have a futsal match again with UFC, we play against a indian team, that match i didn't feel any pressure but quite enjoy it, but i didn't perform well because my stamina is really not good that night, i didn't rest well these few days and made my body play that match with tiredness, made many stupid mistakes again and of course, some scolding, it's ok for me because it's like that, i didn't perform well, haiz, still working on it, everytime i want to sprint, my legs is just like no power, i have the ability to sprint but that night my legs is just too tired and can't do full power run, haiz, poor me, haiz, i need more practise on my foot work, i can do it :-)

recently

yesterday go watch movie with my friend Max K, watch Robin Hood, really want to "hood" them, i expect is action movie, i expect to see his arrow shooting skill, who know only shoot a few arrows only, can't satisfy me, more like historical movie, like 十月围城, lol, kinda boring as well, but it's still ok for me, before we watch that movie, we go eat McD, talk a lot of stuff, more to construction topic because he is doing that kind of job, after that we go popular to buy some books, saw my 2 primary school classmate at ECM there, computer shop there, cool, they look great, good to see them again...

few days ago play futsal with Ah Huat and Soon Pang, very enjoy and funny game

the team i'm joining now change name from OJFC to UFC already, nice name, they making new jersey as well, anyway, i'm still like cannot fit in their team, it's a big challenge for me because 理念 not same, their 理念 let me think of the last time of us

以前我们的理念就是要赢，赢，赢，除了赢还是赢，没别的了，踢球就是为了要赢球，为了踢球而踢球，也是因为这样，很多时候都一直责备对方踢不好，一直都在检讨别人，有事没事都在讲谁不会踢，一踢就好像XXX酱，也很多时候就好像我老师说的:"为了赢一口气而输了一辈子"，我们的友谊花了几年的时间建立起来，因为一粒球不进还是防守不好给别人进就开始骂来骂去了，也顺便互相问候大家的父母，真是搞笑，经过了那么多的风波，我们总算醒过来了，现在输赢已经并不重要了，我们已经看破了（讲到好像要死了酱，讲到好像我们踢到变圣人了酱，lol =.=）因为我们又不是要踢到代表Manchester United 还是 Malaysia 还是自己的 Kampung，只是要过一过瘾，对我们来说，赢当然都想赢，就重要是赢到开心，输了也没事，对我们来说，我们谁都可以输，就是不可以输给自己，问题不在难度而是态度，现在我现在那队好像是要踢到代表关丹去踢酱，也好啦，各有各目标，不过讲真的，他们那队其实真得很厉害，连赢了大概没有30场都有20场友谊赛了，连我和我老朋友的队也是他们的手下败将，他们那个边锋Santiago上一场一个人就进了11球，那班印度人都晕了，我的水准还没达到他们的标准，他们也很严格，我明白的，给他们骂也是自己不够好，其实也蛮伤感情的，还好我的抗压能力还不错，能抵抗这种攻击, 虽然有一点的抱怨但我选择改变, 没有理由要天天都给他们骂的嘛, 只是我一直不明白为什么我每次一进场就很怕了, 信心也一瞬间没了, 平时都不会的但跟他们踢就会酱, 我还在想办法解决着这个问题, 好过我给问题解决掉

path

yesterday i go watch movie with my parents, watch the Nightmare, luckily it doesn't exist in real world, if not, die lo, how terrible if we cannot sleep, lol, i believe some of the people can't sleep well after watch that movie, hahahaha, i don't have that problem, i actually having a sweet dream yesterday night, ifnot remember wrongly, i having a vacation at a island, lol... that movie is quite nice anyway...

saw my primary school buddy Lon Huat with his friends, kuantan not bad, fashion is getting better, after so many observing, i can see there are some improvement, better than last time a lot especially my time, hahahaha... yesterday night i also saw a primary schoolmate, it's a she, now she is quite a famous dancer in kuantan, in fact, she already famous of dancing since primary school, she even same camp with me while in National Service, last time when i talk to a aunty, she mention about this girl, wearing so sexy and dance on the stage, that aunty said she don't want face, give people see those sensitive parts of her body, lol...

somehow, yesterday when i meet her, suddenly my mind just pop out one thinking which is "everyone choose their path to live on", she choose to be like that, get on stage and dance, beckham choose to be footballer and marry sexy victoria, my friends choose to go KL to study while i choose to stay behind and study in IKIP, i choose to live in a way of leader, i like those life of leaders because they are have great influence and damn rich, after choosing our path to walk, we will start to deal with all the problems we meet, right? we made sacrifice, we made commitment, we made many things for it, to make it a successful path,

take a example, every people choose their spouse to live together or i should say more closer example, girlfriend or boyfriend, untill now i still can't get it why must a person we love call girlfriend or boyfriend when we talk about him/her or other people one, why cannot just call them another half or soul partner or mate or whatever because girlfriend is quite mean for your friends of girl or female friends while boyfriend is quite mean for your friends of boy or male friends, lol... after you choose to be with him/her, you will made sacrifice and commitment right? you know what guys, chasing a girl is not a hard thing, the hard thing is to choose which girl you really want to be with, a girl worth you to do all those stuff for her, even that moment you will think you willing to die for her even you know that action is extremely stupid, just like my teacher say:"抉择要放在努力的前面，方向不对，努力白费", of course you can choose to choose again and restart all over again, but remember, you only live once, like the movie say:"人生有几多个十年?", very funny right? but it's truth, the truth of life, so my friends, choose a path you believe it's really worth for you and work on it for the rest of your time, don't give up so easily, being a dancer is a good path also because dancer make people happy and actually make them healthier also, hahahahaha, how? according to a reasearch made by some scientist, if a boy spend about 30 minutes in total watching or staring on women's boobs, it's equal to almost 2 hours of jogging, so, why should we jog so hard while we can just stare on the boobs and have the same benefit? lol... not naked also count as staring i think, hahahahaha, i think i have write myself so dirty, no la, just talking only la, but honestly, if you can find a boy who don't like those stuff, that boy is totally not normal and should take him to hospital for metal check up, he may end his life without any mate or children if he continue like this, hahahahaha XD, so if just with those staring also can like that, i believe with those shaking and other sensitive parts, i think with just 10 minutes of watching it will be equal to 5 hours of futsal match, impressive and save time and cost as well, what the hell =.='''

21 years old

i'm 21 years old now, hahahaha, quite happy about it because i'm totally free from kids restrict area, hehe

i can go casino, buy toto and many more, hahahaha

my semester 2 final exam started yesterday, yesterday is english, no problem for me, didn't have A+ also got A, hehe, today is Hubungan Etnik, haiz... didn't really study at all, hope i can remember those i read before one la

3 weeks of non-sense, haiz, shouldn't trust that guy one

july is close, almost can 出关, hehe... actually should be september one...