weird dream again

yesterday wesak day, didn't go 万佛殿 there this year, but i got go there for a while just to have a look at the building at midnight after yc with friends and before going back home, last year i remember i got go there at morning, with PS...

last 2 days i got a weird dream, i dream back i'm still in National Service (PLKN), wah, but my camp is so luxury, sleeping place is in hotel like that, everyone got a big single bed, just like those in hotel one, i share my room with another person, so cool, got air conditional also, wah, so relax, then after enjoy sleeping on the soft bed a while, then i was called to gather to have water activities training, then i just walk to back of my room there, it's a huge nice garden, got a big river also, then we all people have fun at the river there, somehow what attract me the most in the dream is a girl, that girl look so alike with the one i used to be with but she is much much more taller, even taller than me a bit i think, lol... after the activities, i go have a nap on the bed, when i wake up for dinner, i saw she lie beside me and look at me, i didn't feel shock and roll down the bed but feel so calm and touched when i look at her eyes, this feel is so familiar but have lost for a really long time, somehow that moment is so real for me, deep inside my heart i know it's dream but i feel so real, i feel like she is my gf but i'm like a guy who lost memory and not sure about it, then i just continue looking at her beautiful eyes, i didn't say a word, i just smile to her, then she speak and we chat,

"tired ma...?"
"ok lo..."

then we silent for a while, looking each others, then she speak again,

"i know you having a hard time but i willing to wait for you..."

i'm stunned, then she continue,

"you don't have to give me answer that fast, take all the time you need, i will always be with you..."

that moment i don't really care whether i lost memory or what, i really want to hug her and reply her say yes and be with her but somehow something in my heart drag me behind, i don't know why like this, i can feel she also want to hug me but she didn't, then she just call me to go dinner together and i go with her, at the next day, i was call again but the situation is quite serious like that, more like emergency, when i walk to the back to answer the call, i saw a big stupid wooden boat park at the dock there, then i was told to get in that boat and sail to kuantan dock alone, wah, i'm so shock and scare about it, never do it before but quite excited about it because and drive a boat alone at the sea, anyway, at the end got few people get up and i didn't drive the boat also, fainted, that boat really look so stupid, like those old fishing boat, 2 storey high one, but when they testing their engine for check-up, wow, it's like got a 10000 horse power engine inside it, the sound is just awesome, then i just jump up the boat and ready to voyage with them, many friends come to say goodbye to me, somehow i want to see her before i go but she didn't show up, somehow my mind tell me she purposely don't want to come because she don't want to see her love one to go away but rather to cheat herself i'm still inside the camp, my feeling turned from excited and happy to sadness, really make me remember a phrase, appreciate while they still with you, haiz... then the boat just drive away from the dock and head to kuantan, here comes the strange part, when arrive the dock, that boat actually pops out wheel and continue moving on the ground, it's a amphibia! cool, and it move just like a 10 seconds car, very fast, i ask the driver where we heading, he said Pekan which back to my camp again, then i just say what the hell, like this also fun, lol... then end of dream, what a non sense trip =.=

after that dream, i still miss that girl, i think i miss my ex actually, i always having dream about her even we have seperated, yesterday also dream about her, she giving me a call to me and we talk a lot, haiz... i know she is working hard to be back with me but i'm just like that dream, something is holding me back and i can't accept her anymore, that night when we meet again when she back to kuantan for holidays for 3 weeks, we have a talk about our reunion, after talking for some time, i know we won't be together back happily one but i made a choice, i choose to believe in her again, she really work hard in that 3 weeks to get back to me and same as me but i think it just can't work, at the end, i made a choice, i choose to leave, there are too many things i really mind and can't forget and can't stop thinking it, haiz...

last 2 days i go have a futsal match again with UFC, we play against a indian team, that match i didn't feel any pressure but quite enjoy it, but i didn't perform well because my stamina is really not good that night, i didn't rest well these few days and made my body play that match with tiredness, made many stupid mistakes again and of course, some scolding, it's ok for me because it's like that, i didn't perform well, haiz, still working on it, everytime i want to sprint, my legs is just like no power, i have the ability to sprint but that night my legs is just too tired and can't do full power run, haiz, poor me, haiz, i need more practise on my foot work, i can do it :-)